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Mar. 27th, 2019 07:30 pmWe went for a lunch bike ride. I got buzzed by a vulture because I was looking weak.
We stopped at a long stoplight where our road crosses a major four lane highway. Facing us across the road was a brown 90s hooptymobile and the driver was shrieking loudly enough to hear. I picked up the word “pedophile”. Light turned green and we started to cross. She pulled partway out into the intersection, stopped, put her cellphone out the window pointed at us and started screaming “there go the gay Nazi pedophile Zionists! I hope you are having a horrible day you dirty pedophiles!” as the cars vehind her began honking and swerving around her. So on some obscure Facebook conspiracy group there is a video of me smiling and waving as this woman screams abuse at us.
Which, let’s face it, beats being run over.
When I posted the above on Strava ("Grindr for bike racers!") my friend Bill, who I'm gonna name-drop because he either wins or takes second place in the US Nationals for his age group in road racing, crits, and team time trials every year for like the last 10 years, responded "maybe she thought you were a Merckxist!" which will be hilarious to about two people who aren't me.
My friend Tonya would accost people who took pictures of her and demand they destroy the pictures because she had extremely strong ideas about privacy, which I admire. I did not attempt to have anything like this conversation with Crazypants because there are few ideas worse than engaging with someone who is sitting in a two ton block of motorized steel when you're wearing about 28 grams of lycra and a pair of dirty shoes.
We stopped at a long stoplight where our road crosses a major four lane highway. Facing us across the road was a brown 90s hooptymobile and the driver was shrieking loudly enough to hear. I picked up the word “pedophile”. Light turned green and we started to cross. She pulled partway out into the intersection, stopped, put her cellphone out the window pointed at us and started screaming “there go the gay Nazi pedophile Zionists! I hope you are having a horrible day you dirty pedophiles!” as the cars vehind her began honking and swerving around her. So on some obscure Facebook conspiracy group there is a video of me smiling and waving as this woman screams abuse at us.
Which, let’s face it, beats being run over.
When I posted the above on Strava ("Grindr for bike racers!") my friend Bill, who I'm gonna name-drop because he either wins or takes second place in the US Nationals for his age group in road racing, crits, and team time trials every year for like the last 10 years, responded "maybe she thought you were a Merckxist!" which will be hilarious to about two people who aren't me.
My friend Tonya would accost people who took pictures of her and demand they destroy the pictures because she had extremely strong ideas about privacy, which I admire. I did not attempt to have anything like this conversation with Crazypants because there are few ideas worse than engaging with someone who is sitting in a two ton block of motorized steel when you're wearing about 28 grams of lycra and a pair of dirty shoes.
