(no subject)

[randomdreams]

We went for a lunch bike ride. I got buzzed by a vulture because I was looking weak.
We stopped at a long stoplight where our road crosses a major four lane highway. Facing us across the road was a brown 90s hooptymobile and the driver was shrieking loudly enough to hear. I picked up the word “pedophile”. Light turned green and we started to cross. She pulled partway out into the intersection, stopped, put her cellphone out the window pointed at us and started screaming “there go the gay Nazi pedophile Zionists! I hope you are having a horrible day you dirty pedophiles!” as the cars vehind her began honking and swerving around her. So on some obscure Facebook conspiracy group there is a video of me smiling and waving as this woman screams abuse at us.
Which, let’s face it, beats being run over.

When I posted the above on Strava ("Grindr for bike racers!") my friend Bill, who I'm gonna name-drop because he either wins or takes second place in the US Nationals for his age group in road racing, crits, and team time trials every year for like the last 10 years, responded "maybe she thought you were a Merckxist!" which will be hilarious to about two people who aren't me.

My friend Tonya would accost people who took pictures of her and demand they destroy the pictures because she had extremely strong ideas about privacy, which I admire. I did not attempt to have anything like this conversation with Crazypants because there are few ideas worse than engaging with someone who is sitting in a two ton block of motorized steel when you're wearing about 28 grams of lycra and a pair of dirty shoes.

Comments

[rebeccmeister]

Hee hee! I am one of the two people. :^)

[twoeleven]

Make it three. :)

[basefinder]

That's bizzaro. Who in the world did she mistake you guys for?

[randomdreams]

I think she had a lot of anger directed at cyclists in general.

[annie_r]

She's in a bad location for that (or a good one if she likes being angry all the time).
I am trying to parse Merckxist, and since I work in pharma I know who Merck is, but not the details of the reference.

[randomdreams]

See below in thread...

[alton_love]

Wait, maybe there's a monthly quota of rants that has to be posted in her internet group? She's way behind.

[randomdreams]

I guess so! Well, she got video and everything.

[alton_love]

Did someone in your group have a banner you failed to notice?
Was there a tour bus advertising behind you?
Are you also illuminati?

[marahmarie]

So you ran into a typical Trump supporter today. My sympathies. :(

(Also, thanks for making me google "hooptymobile" (I spit my drink out), Strava (doesn't seem like a 1-to-1 clientele equivalent to Grindr or doesn't announce itself as such) and "Merckxist" (nothing in Google, which was when my brain finally essploded.)

My head hurts now.

[threemeninaboat]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddy_Merckx

[ivy]

Thank you for disambiguating; I was guessing that it was either him or the recumbent trike manufacturer, heh. (My money was on the right one, since as far as I can tell no one in the story was on a trike. But who knows, maybe there's some crazy recumbent trike speed racer out there.)

[marahmarie]

Ah, thanks for that!

[randomdreams]

Given the location, it's unlikely she's Trumpian, somewhat likely she's very, very angry at some specific cyclists and has decided to generalize.

[marahmarie]

"Given the location"...OK, I'll assume you don't keep up with these folks and their current assortment of conspiracy theories and hate groups (I very much do), so let me give you the quick and dirty rundown. Whoever did this checked all the some of the bigger boxes* for what Trumpists do, think and say:

--"shrieking loudly enough to hear. I picked up the word “pedophile”" - check
--"started screaming “there go the gay pedophile [...]!”" - check and check
--"so on some obscure Facebook conspiracy group" - I know you're just speculating here but still, CHECK

The only things (and drastically so) that don't fit in are being anti-Zionist and anti-Nazi (I had to edit that, on second thought), but close enough, otherwise.

/end "my opinion"

*They're absolutely obsessed with pedophiles in a way that has nothing to do with the actual abuse that's been going on in churches that you see in the news lately, and so on. Think Pizzagate, etc. They're just crazed with it. They hate LGBTQIA+ just as a big-assed general rule and will decide who is or isn't for themselves, thankyouverymuch. So I can see why this whole scene confused the heck out of me, upon reflection.

[amaebi]

Yes about the phenomena. They are startling, and apparently completely immune to disproof.

[marahmarie]

*nods*

True that.

[ivy]

I have also been buzzed by a vulture, and had the same thought about it. "Not today, vulture, not today!"

Also, how does one manage to be both a Nazi and a Zionist? Aren't those opposed? (I also would not have tried to have that conversation in Lycra and dirty shoes, hahaha. Great phrasing there.)

[marahmarie]

My best guess? Evangelical. They think everything in the Bible has to come true so THE LORD can come back and claim their precious, precious souls for his own so yeah, maybe you can still be a Nazi on top of that (as Israel must be preserved! But maybe not necessarily any of the Jews who aren't living in it)! I don't think their ideas are based in actual sanity, anyhow, so.

[alton_love]

She could tell you were Evangelical by your bike shorts? Hmmmm?

[marahmarie]

See, that's what I mean by "sanity" - or lack thereof.

[randomdreams]

That's why that particular insult stuck with me. I was almost ready to ask her how that worked.

[malterre]

What a weirdly specific uh,, insult?

[randomdreams]

There was a lot more. That was just the apogee of the tirade.

[amaebi]

Maybe she intended to say "pedalphiles."

Once I saw the name Eddie Merckx I got that joke, so half credit to me. :D

[randomdreams]

I underestimated my audience!

[alton_love]

Booooooo

[secretagentmoof]

Given your lack of attire, all you had to lose were your bicycle chains?

[randomdreams]

I'll remember that. It might come in useful for other snappy comebacks for educated people.

[amaebi]

:D

[cordjostler]

The Merckxist joke is pretty good!